Last week of 2008.... Unfortunately time has to go on. And here we are today, an hour and half more to 2009.Mon: Combat Shoot. Went to OCS to walk around (lame....), and NTU to grab food. Yes, in No. 4. So attract attention. Too bad uni on hols, no babes to see. Slept on Tue 0400hrs (after a light supper)Tue: InAD in the afternoon. We woke up at 0930hrs. Checked email and changed for InAD.Conclusion: Marksman!!!!!So, to spend the last 2nd day of 2008 together, the Dys and the MTO went down for a damn late dinner (at 2230hrs) thanks to MTO, at Bugis. Same old shit place. But it's not about the place, the food, but the people. Then after a 2 hour dinner, went over to Selegie Road for lan-gaming. And did so till 0600hrs. Damn shag.Wed: went back to camp, bathed, slept by 0710hrs. Woke up at 0915hrs. Checked email again, kept dozing off, until "work" came. Haiz... And clean rifle.... HAIZ... had lunch, stayed around then booked out, went home and zzzz... Dinner after that.... zzzz again, till supper.You see, what a boring way to spend the last week of 2008. We wanted to go drink on Tue. But some clown wanted to play lan... ARGH. Almost could have end 2008 with a "Bang".
Read a friend's blog last night. Had so much of thoughts, wanted to write them down. But I thought of procrastinating till tonight, and somehow I've forgotten more than a half of it.Well, it's something like this.......When we break up with another person, or vice versa, we usually get damn fed up with the other person, but obviously under the 2nd situation. And because of that anger, usually arising from unknown or unreasonable reason or excuse respectively, we start calling the other person names. It's a natural behaviour. But come to think of it, if you really thought that person is "whatever you call him/her", how come you only thought of it when you break up? Has it never crossed your mind s/he is going to be like that? Don't answer "No" just yet. Think about it...When you're with someone, obviously you'll know about that person inside out. What size clothes s/he's wearing, No, his/her character. I'm sure you'd thought of the extremes of that person. Ok, normally s/he shows the positive extreme, till the day you break up, that's when the horns grow. But at the time point of thinking, ever though of calling that person "whatever you call him/her"?I'm saying this from having seen a lot of these, and my own experiences.Second point. Want to prove to the other person that you'll be happier without him/her. Hah! That's so provincial... I have to god damn it admit, there's been happier days even in my relationships. No, I gave my 100% to the relationships. No, the gf's done a good job being one. But seriously, are your happy days only confined to those relationship days? That's a pity.I'm not saying that my friend did the wrong thing, calling the ex names. Neither am I criticizing my friend. But it's my thoughts. I mean, from my personal experience, I got worse "aftermath remarks"... And usually after an end of a relationship, we say "Ah, let's still be friends. Perhaps we could do better..." And there we go, calling that person names, so hypocritical. I admit, I did it myself before. And come to think of it, it's disgusting. If you'd really want to value that person as a friend, spare those names. If not, just reject the friendship.Speaking of being direct, I thought of how a-hole I've been towards this colleague. Colleague? Yes. I don't regard him as a friend. He's nowhere near acquaintance. He's just merely another human, competing with me the oxygen and space, and unfortunately for me, in the same working place.So, I was telling another friend+colleague about him. And I admitted to him I've been rather harsh towards the colleague. I told the former, if I dislike a person, I'll make it obvious. I'm not making enemies (because I'm not backstabbing you, neither am I waging war with you), and I'm definitely not putting a front just to make me seem any pleasant. I hate it when person A obviously dislikes person B, puts up a front, on the account of good working r/s, and starts f***ing B behind his back when B totally pissed him off. So, that's me. A-hole.But I'm not so good with telling people I like them. Kind of put such words into my mouth. Wished I had the best of both.Anyway, just a reflection. I'm sorry my friend if you felt offended. There isn't any ill-intent behind my words.
Oh... Rewind a bit....Tue: SAT scores released. A little disappointing. Although the overall score has improved, but a marginal one... And I was expecting full marks for Maths! Damn... No... Think got 3 questions wrong. ARGH! and I was damn confident about writing. Thought I'd score better than the previous attempt. Critical Reading score; not bad. At least my scores fall inside UMich and GA's mid-range scores... I was hoping for it anyway.
Some updates:Mon: Duty... with guard... tragic. Damn fed-up with the previous DOO for many reasons. All I wanna say is: don't give me that cock attitude. You have yourself to blame for your situation. I could have been an asshole. 2.5hrs of DOO hand-take over is considered short for me, although it's the longest in record... watch your attitude my friend.Tue: Spent half a morning handing over duty. Damn the fire alarm; rang like so randomly.... Did nothing much.Wed: Tried to make an ice-cream cake. Haha... everything was self-made except the ice-cream. Wanted to buy, but thought perhaps making ourselves (my sisters and me) would be better. Thur: Put the chocolate coating / glaze (also self-made). Had the ice-cream cake for supper. Erm, not bad, would have been worse. haha... But good try.Fri: Erm, so far, only 10mins have passed. Nothing much.Anyway, Merry Christmas!
Dead boring week.Completed 3 out of 6 Essays. *clap hands*"what? very great meh?"...waiting Matt to confirm the meeting on 23rd...actually Van...Doing duty on 22nd. So not looking forwardHaven't gone out with ANY friend this leave SO FAR"how pathetic!""Chopin's calling me to finish learning his Ballade"Hope to finish my 1st draft of the essays before 2009seems impossible,shit.driving license 2 years old alr. *clap hands* again...came across 1 x bad news. good for her, not for me.dunno why so affected. actually not affected, perhaps envy.watched many stupid shows on cable TV. seriously, are they for kids? if they are, please screen them in the appropriate channels...1st Feb is gonna come soon.1st Feb = deadline for applications, deadline to reply NTUdecision: accept first then see how.question: can reject after accepting anot? cannot how?Gwen: must study overseas meh?Me: Yes. I want to.ask me why i'm not typing in text form....... too exhausted from forming sentences, i need a break.bye.
I was shocked to see someone's message in my tagbox, and realised it was there since 12th Dec.And I've got just a simple message for this someone.If you would like to leave a message in my tagbox, please use your name. Don't try to be J.K. Rowling's character, "he-who-must-not-be-named". By putting down your name, you're not helping me, neither any reader of this blog, rather you're respecting the name entitled to you exclusively. Using some senseless name only justifies your intellectual disability, that is very much proved correct in your message. If you detest your name so much to the extent that you'll go slit your throat, hit your head on the wall, and swallow a triggered grenade, call yourself "anonymous", to prove that at least you have that little intelligence of a 3-year old.That's all. And I wish you success in finding the love for your name, oh and the seemingly impossible process of getting any smarter.
grrr.... someone please tell me how to recover my appetite!!!This was what happened:Synopsis: (won't reveal the unit name) HQ Coy chalet at SAF Holiday Chalets. BBQ last night.I went to Selegie Road to meet up the DYs because they were playing LAN, and I decided to stay at home to learn the Chopin Ballade. To my surprise, the whole ging gang was there. Ok fine, so we left the LAN shop like 20mins after my arrival. WALKED!! to Bugis just to catch a bus with this special number, 2!!! Then I told them, "hey... it won't be easy to get on the bus, we've got like close to 20 people here, and look at the time now, 6 plus pm, even worse. Just take the train."So, we WALKED to Bugis MRT station. I can't even remember where's the MRT station, and that's the reason why I insisted not to drive. I should take the public transport to re-familiarize with it. Anyways, so we got off at Simei, and took a cab to the chalet.Reached there quarter-to-8, some hungry "ghosts" started terrorizing the bbq pit to get themselves satiated. And I was the usual, sitting arnd, talk cock first, cam-whore too! and HOPE that someone cooks for me. Well, miraculously, YES! So touched. But didn't eat alot. Talked too much. Had too much of Apple Juice too, and Beer after that (because that was the only beverage left). Is beer cheaper than apple juice? How come I see more beer than the juice?! Oh, and we cooked for ourselves Maggie Mee... Wa lao.... BBQ eat maggie...So, anyways, drove down to Changi Village (borrowed my SGT's car and Encik's car) to eat. Ordered 4 dishes (7 people eating.......) All SPICY! Finished supper like we just had a 2.4km run...Decided to be naughty, drove down to Red House. But decided against going in, and after all it was locked. Headed back to chalet. That was 10.30pm alr! Sat down not longer for half an hour, started having plans of getting alcohol.......... and it seriously was a bad idea...And so we went to Brian, JC and Kit's houses to grab their most willing-to-give-away liquor. they were Grey Goose, Vodka Peach and Jack Daniel's respectively.Finished the 1L of Vodka between 1.30 and 2.30am, over a game of BlackJack. Started a little Jack Daniel's, and decided to go grab more mixers. By then, i was like half-drunk (ok, i must admit i wasn't really tolerant of the liquor that night). Walked to Changi Village and I was not walking straight. Grabbed the mixers. Brian suggested to go and see Bapos again. That's like the 4th time in just one night!!! But, we didn't do anything stupid.Went back, and I started sleeping... The rest too... shit... bluff us...and I suddenly woke up, at around 6am... Then I saw Brian, JC, Kit, and S4 drinking over some game. Decided to join in. Conversation was like this:S4: Dy, you ok anot? Can drink some more?Me: Can...S4: Good, I like ppl who can recover and continue after sleepingI was thinking, erm, I'm like half-awake, still heavy-headed. Can't think straight. and I have no idea why I said "can".so we started drinking. At a much higher intensity. I dunnoe how long later, JC ran off. Said he couldn't go on. Brian went to check out on him. Kit said stop because he needed to have a clear mind while doing his passport later. I couldn't even talk, I just slept on the sofa. And I dropped to the floor not long later. Slept there till 12.30pm!!!! Damn. nobody woke me up. All the above mentioned ran off alr... leaving edwin, me, Hafiz, lance, and I think Ronnie, and Shi Han. Walked to Changi Village again for lunch. But I skipped it. I felt bloated, felt like vomiting even at the mere smell of the food. Really did it after we left the hawker centre. But all was saliva. Took a cab home, bathed, and slept for 3 hours before dinner call. Ate only a third of my usual. Practised my Ballade, thought I had a clear mind. Couldn't go on after an hour of practice. Then, I started watching YouTube... And then now.So, this was the experience. And it's damn disgusting. Bad one too. And luckily I didn't drive to the Chalet, if not, I wouldn't know how to drive back home.And, I'm still suffering from the bloated-ness....so, HOW TO RETRIEVE MY APPETITE? never eat = no energy = feel weak = can't do anything.
Finally! Took my TOEFL this morning!Hopefully I don't have to any SAT or TOEFL anymore!!! Please...Came back home and watched "Golden Compass"...No, I should be working on my essays now...BUT, I'm tired... after a 4hr plus LANGUAGE PAPER! I'm so drained...Decided to take out Chopin's Ballade and try... Still alright... Wondering when I would give up....These days, I find it so hard to settle on one piece and learn it diligently.Either I'm too impatient, or I "xi xin yan jiu"...Whatever it is, I crossing my fingers I don't grow bored of it.I realised that I'm so getting used to 24-hr clock now; so not used to the 12-hr clock... And there's a tendancy to write the 24-hr time...Ok, back to "you-tube".... Zimmerman playing Chopin Ballade No. 1...... AH!!!! I've always loved his style.
Watched this thought-provoking movie, "Pay It Forward". Nice movie. Worth the watch, although it can get boring at times, but, I like the storyline...It's about 1 person helping 3 people, who in turns help 3 others each... So it could reach out to the whole world... Do the maths...Anyway, wasn't really in the mood for blogging, but had the urge to whine, AGAIN....Got this letter from NTU, about going for some medical check-up. And, hey... You don't trust the SAF doctors? Ok, maybe they can't really be trusted. ANYWAYs, not sure you'd call it a dilemma, but I'm contemplating between GOING for it and NOT GOING for it. Simply because I'm not planning to go to NTU. And worse of all, I'm supposed to give my reply if I'm enrolling in 2009... Er, kinda early is it not? So, I was thinking if I should reply. I've got this calculated; I knew this day would come, but never thought it would so early...Go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go....
Oops! I almost forgot, it's PAYDAY tmr! Damn!
Letter of Explanation & Transcript sent!Waiting for WES to give a "thumbs up" that everything's okReceived an example of an application essay, will start mine soon.Thinking about her again,contemplating over my intentionsThank God "they" didn't come today...Hopefully "they" show up tmr.Will drive back to office tmr eveningprolly get the DYs out for supper. Same place, same food.Hoping she'll be there tmr, haven't really expressed my heartfelt thanks.That's all. Kinda lazy to blog now... Perhaps one day I'll even stop blogging.No point; she won't read anyways. Can't use this as an avenue to tell her some things...
Still, I'm hoping that you'll read yesterday's entry. I'm crossing my fingers.....I'm not really in the mood to prepare for the TOEFL Writing Section. I have never been good with writing, and I dread it. "Do you agree...", "what's your opinion...", ARGH! I wouldn't mind if it's like "What do you think compelled Rachmaninov to compose his greatest Piano Concertos?" Gosh... I would write like so much... or "In your opinion, how do you think people of Beethoven's time accepted his 'Grosse Fugue'?" Oh my god! Trust me to write an essay out of it!Somehow I'm just not able to apply the skills to the English writing. ARGH! Making my blood boil.Haven't been doing much today. So unproductive. Thinking of running. Er..... Wednesday... Probably...Watched the final leg of the Amazing Race S13... Congrats to Nick & Starr for winning the $1 Million dollars. Hopefully the other DYs caught it too!Wanted to start on the Uni Essays... But was struck dumb by an essay topic. "In less than 300 words, explain why you chose to apply to University XXX as a transfer student."WHAT THE HELL?!"Er, because you're relatively easier to enter?!"....... Argh.... How am I gonna start?!"Am I your only source of entertainment?" Yes. I want you to be my only source of entertainment, and I'm willing to be yours too..... Give me a chance to prove myself.
It was a great birthday celebration last night at Olive Tree.Thank you all for coming, and celebrating my step into ADULT with me! And not to forget the many presents that you all brought along.It wasn't as I expected actually, to a certain extent. In fact, only the seating plan wasn't. Ok, I had this seating plan because there was this super irregular number that I have to divide by 12, so the only way I could put everyone together was to devise a fixed seating arrangement. Turned out that I had to resort to "contingency plans" which I didn't prepare... lol...Glad that Poly mates could still click with each other; the last time some of us met was at Deren's birthday party, like 2 months ago... Pianophiles friends too, almost half a year ago...Of course, thanks to the hyperactive bunch of army friends, the dinner couldn't have been any noiser! But! I absolutely enjoyed the noise! Ironic...Great food, great company, great atmosphere, what more can I expect of a 21st birthday dinner?!_________________________________________________________________Received birthday wishes from 2 unexpected ladies last night. Let's just call them A & B respectively. I received A's wishes earlier, and B's wishes during dinner through a friend. Er, and I was joking when I asked my friend why she couldn't sms me directly? Because I thought it was a joke they've been playing on me since the start of the dinner.Was damn happy when I got A's wishes, B's too. But somehow, I felt lost. Perhaps you could say that I felt infatuated towards B, and the joy was short-lived. I wasn't sure if I really liked B, but I was sure the infatuation wouldn't hold for long. So who do I really like? A.BUT! It's so difficult to tell her. She seems super impassive towards what I say, she seemed to be not-interested. Our conversations can't hold out long, perhaps "I don't understand you sometimes" really is the reason. I'm not sure how I can let her know how I feel, after all, it failed a few years ago, blame in on my immaturity. The secret admiration for her has never been lost, NEVER. There's so much apprehension. Will she be able to accept me again? Will things work out? How will I react to her rejection (if it was to turn out that way). It's been hard to finally get back in touch with her, I'm not sure if I'm ready to take the risk to ruin our friendship. I've tried not to think about it, but she's always there.... Give me a sign, tell me what to do.
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!Took SAT Reasoning Test again... Wanted to improve my score... Another dreadful 4.5hrs paper...It seems harder than the last time I took. And there's this girl (I don't know what's her nationality) but she sped through the critical reading sections. She was damn slow in Mathematics. Critical Reading leh! I almost felt like killing her... And her actions turning the pages were exaggerated, and it's hard to miss them! Stressed out by her.You can't blame me for being querulous, it's really a difficult paper...I was damn pissed with this american lady... I called her to ask about some credential evaluation. And she sounded f***ing impatient. Hey darling, I'd have f***ed you in your face if I wasn't desperate for the evaluation. Why are these people so god damn rigid... Give me all the trouble, need to go down to NP next week. Bitch!Anyway, Birthday dinner later. Don't wanna spoil my mood...
