I was browsing through and came across a friend's account... Somehow after looking and reading through, I got this sour feeling... It always strikes me, and this time it struck hard, real hard... The reluctance to forget hasn't helped at all in feeling better. I thought I have forgotten, but it becomes apparent to me I've never really been successful in it...Gosh, it felt damn bad...Suddenly all the memories fall back in place, like a jigsaw with all the pieces placed together, and events in that whole period of time ran through my mind unconciously with images of joyous moments printing hard; right smack in the face.Whenever I see my platoon mates with their gfs' photos stuck onto their cupboards, there's always this qn that they and I ask myself all the time, 'where's yours?'... Yet I was never determined to find one. They say it's a source of motivation... "To defend the country" not quite, but to protect the people you love. You look at the photos everytime you come back from a tough training and you tell yourself 'yes, it's worth it!'. But for those who we call them 'lone rangers', they just suck their thumb and subtract it from 'number of days left to ORD'.Had had dreams of reconcilation those past few days 3 months before. The frequency got higher, but mind you, unconciously... Dreams are always the opposite of the reality. Perhaps I was to be told a message, 'hopeless'. How perfect it would be if I never let her go.________________________________________________________________
Cute dog? haha... He's a white German Shepard... Just got him last week... 3 months old... Oh, I changed my blog song to "Auld Lang Syne", supposedly for BMT... But now, I guess 'she' would be the secondary reason. It's gonna be a goodbye forever.
